God calls us to love, but sometimes we find ourselves in relationships that are one-sided, manipulative, or even abusive. It’s important to discern the difference between a rough patch and a pattern of ungodly behavior.
One primary sign is a consistent lack of respect for your boundaries, feelings, or spiritual walk. A person who truly loves you will care for your soul. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 says that “love is patient, love is kind… it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” If you are constantly being put down, controlled, or your mistakes are constantly held against you, this is not God’s design for love.
Another sign is conditional affection. You feel that you must earn their love or approval through your performance, and it is quickly withdrawn if you make a mistake. This creates a cycle of fear and anxiety. This is the opposite of God’s perfect love. 1 John 4:18 tells us, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear…” If you are walking on eggshells, afraid to be yourself or share your thoughts for fear of their reaction, this is a red flag that godly love is absent.
Finally, observe where the relationship leads you. Does it draw you closer to Jesus, or does it pull you into compromise, sin, and away from your faith?
Godly relationships are meant to be iron sharpening iron (Proverbs 27:17).
Remember, If you feel constantly drained, discouraged, or tempted to abandon your values to keep the peace, it is a sign that this connection is not rooted in Christ’s love.
